Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
