check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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