where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
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