We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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