he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
