Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
