I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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