My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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