I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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