Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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