Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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