Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My feet surprised me
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