Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We are two peas in an std pod
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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