I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
