She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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