Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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