I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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