I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
