On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
