Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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