I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You ruined the universe
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
