Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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