apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Is it because I queefed?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
