I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
