i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
