The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
