Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
