everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
