My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
