You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
