u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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