Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
