And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
