It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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