just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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