Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
