The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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