Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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