I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize