the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
