I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
