Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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