I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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