I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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