dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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