It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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