I swear she didn't look like that last week.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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