Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
