Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
