? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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