Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
