I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
