Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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