The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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