please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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