i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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