Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
