OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
