Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
