i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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