Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
