Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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