You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
